You know, the only thing that is really unstoppable is the fact that Hollywood will make a glut of mediocre action films that don’t really offend OR excite. This is really just another one of those, so we’ll just throw it on the pile.
You know, the only thing that is really unstoppable is the fact that Hollywood will make a glut of mediocre action films that don’t really offend OR excite. This is really just another one of those, so we’ll just throw it on the pile.
Unstoppable is the story of a couple of guys on a train that decide to try and stop an unmanned, runaway train before it pummels into a medium-sized Pennsylvania town. Yeah, the big problem is that the train is carrying a number of cars full of a volatile, explosive chemical that will pretty much annihilate the town and everyone in it.
I know, this sounds like Speed with a train. We’re all hearing the comparisons. But the truth is, Hollywood churns out a runaway train movie every so often. And it goes way back. The General, with Buster Keaton in 1927, The Taking of Pelham 1,2,3 – the original with Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw in 1974 (let’s not talk about the remake with Denzel and Travolta), Silver Streak with Wilder and Pryor in 1976, and of course, the plainly titled, Runaway Train in 1985 with Jon Voight. And certainly a few other films have had runaway train sequences. And I can be fairly sure that all of those films are more memorable than this one.
Denzel Washington plays Frank, a 28 year veteran engineer of the railroads, stuck with rookie, Will. We get the usual “screw you, new guy” vibe from the old-timers who fear that they’ll be replaced by the fresh conductor blood. Will takes a lot of crap. Frank is the guy with two teenage daughters that won’t talk to him because he forgot one of their birthdays. Will did something stupid and now his wife has a restraining order out on him and he can’t see his kid. Will’s wife Darcy won’t return his calls. We know all will end well when everyone finds out they’re trying to save the day.
So some lunkhead moving a train has to jump out of the cab (WHAT) and flick a switch to move the train to another track. Well, of course while he’s out, the gear slips and the train goes into full speed. Oh, and did I mention that the air brake cables weren’t connected? And yet they show someone else do it later in the film and it apparently only takes, like, a second. Literally. Whatever.
So the train goes barreling at 70 mph through the Pennsylvania countryside until it gets to a bunch of towns in succession. The big railroad company tries to stop it, then decides to derail it even though it’s near a town and could kill thousands. EVIL TRAIN COMPANY. They don’t care about people. They only care about the money!
Enter Frank and Will. Since they were out working anyway on another engine, Frank figures he can catch up with the runaway train and hitch up to it and slow it down. It’ll be tricky, and dangerous, but Frank is seasoned and seems to know what he’s talking about. Besides, one or two of his other gambles worked out earlier in the movie, so here’s hoping!
We get the usual “opposites become friends in the face of trying circumstances” stuff between Denzel and Chris Pine. And frankly they do just fine in it. Pine will surely continue to get work after this and Star Trek. Denzel is, well, Denzel. He ain’t going anywhere. Oh, and Rosario Dawson is in this and she’s fine, too. But anyone could have played her role.
This movie is not awful, and even kind of exciting in some spots. But other places you have to suspend your disbelief, and you still have to deal with Tony Scott’s jerky, kinetic directing style. But it’s not as bad as usual. Unfortunately, the formulaic sub-plots and characters don’t do it any favors.
My biggest complaint? With a movie about a runaway train, I sort of hope that there’s a really big train crash at the end. Ok, it doesn’t have to kill people, but I’d like to see some destruction. Isn’t that what we came for? Isn’t that a big part of hockey? Of auto racing? We secretly want to see some fights and crashes. (SPOILER ALERT) Well, this movie gave us no train crash. Nope. Very anti-climactic. Only two and a half kittenhands out of five!
~ Neil T. Weakley, your average movie-goer, saying you’re better off renting Runaway Train with Jon Voight.
