The movie opens in 1985, with Flynn telling his 12-year-old son all about The Grid, Tron and Clu, then leaving for work and his fateful date with the Master Control Program. Just before he leaves, he tells Sam they’ll always be partners, foreshadowing the events to come and ensuring a scene where the now-grown Sam has to remind his father that he said they would always be partners. Sigh.
Look, I’m an old man, all right? Getting older all the time, too. That’s a fact I can’t escape from – that nobody can escape from – but the trick is to not let your ever-increasing age influence how you feel about the advancements being made all around you.
Cell phones that are actually computers? I’m in. A robot that lives in my car, providing driving directions to every corner of the earth? It’s about time. A box attached to my TV that not only pauses live programming, but allows me to skip commercials altogether? Unreal. Think about that: commercials used to be a common touchstone for every 13-channel household in the country. Now? Hell, I didn’t find out about the Old Spice guy until I saw him go viral. We’re going to raise a generation of children who won’t be able to imitate “The Most Interesting Man In The World”, and I couldn’t be happier.
There is, though, one “advancement” that I’m going to stick to my crotchety old man guns about: 3D … which I’m told stands for “three dimensional”, although it could also stand for “three dollars”, since that’s the surcharge they tack on to your ticket just so you can watch a rock fly at your head every once in a while. My life is three-dimensional and it’s free; there’s no need for me to pay extra for the privilege.
I admit that in the hands of the right person, 3D can actually enhance your movie-going experience; unfortunately, that “right person” is James Cameron, and he works about as often as I do. That doesn’t stop the studios from green-lighting every 3D movie imaginable – a naked cash grab so brazen, it makes the airlines angry they didn’t think of it.
This leads me to the latest “3D Blockbuster Guaranteed To Change The Face Of Cinema”: Tron: Legacy 3D. A sequel to 1982’s Tron, Tron: Legacy has Jeff Bridges reprising his dual role as Kevin Flynn and “Clu”, Flynn’s computer created doppelganger. Some neat CGI work here, as Bridges is digitally made young for his scenes as “Clu”; unfortunately, he’s digitally made into a young Alec Baldwin.
The movie opens in 1985, with Flynn telling his 12-year-old son all about The Grid, Tron and Clu, then leaving for work and his fateful date with the Master Control Program. Just before he leaves, he tells Sam they’ll always be partners, foreshadowing the events to come and ensuring a scene where the now-grown Sam has to remind his father that he said they would always be partners. Sigh.
As we know from Tron, Flynn disappears that night, and Legacy explains that in the ensuing twenty years Sam has kept controlling interest in his father’s company Encom, but has no hand in running it. He cedes those responsibilities to the greedy “Board”, who go against Flynn’s original wish to benefit mankind, shockingly preferring to make money instead. The now-grown Sam (Garrett Hedlund, mumbling heroically throughout) shows up once a year at the company to play a prank, then brood on a motorcycle and keep all responsibility at arm’s length. I wonder if his hot-headedness will get him into trouble one of these days? Sigh.
Flynn’s former partner Alan (Bruce Boxleitner) shows up at Sam’s apartment, and mentions that he’s received a mysterious page from Sam’s father’s old office at the arcade. He thinks Sam should check it out, Sam thinks Alan is clinging to a memory that he should let go, Alan gives Sam the key to the arcade, saying he wants Sam to have it in case he changes his mind. I wonder if Sam will change his mind? Sigh.
Bridges is always great and does a nice job in both roles, the Kevin Flynn persona inflected with more than a little essence of “The Dude”. Hedlund is a test pattern. Olivia Wilde does what she can with the role of Flynn’s in-computer apprentice Quorra, if nothing else at least looking fantastic in skintight latex.
Halfway through the film Michael Sheen shows up as Zuse, a cross between the albino twins from The Matrix: Reloaded and Ziggy Stardust. His performance adds the only real burst of energy to the film – so much so that I think they must have told him to go over the top, then keep going until he hit the fucking moon. After his first five lines I actually laughed out loud and gleefully whispered to my wife, “This movie is AWFUL”. As he continued, I realized he was my favorite thing in the entire film, and wanted him to never stop talking. Check that – he was my second favorite thing in the film, as I bought the score by Daft Punk the second I got home. Amazing stuff, and brought a terrific feel to an otherwise soulless enterprise; believe me, if you need techno music to give your project soul, you have definitely lost your way.
I don’t want to be “that guy”, giving away the entire movie … but if you’ve seen Tron, you’ve already seen this movie. The effects are better, but there’s really only so much running around in glowing neon you can be impressed by. I’ve mentioned my problems with 3D, but my gripe here is more specific: you get the usual “you are here” aspect of the imagery, but where is “here” exactly?
In Avatar you felt like you were actually in the jungle, immersed in a living, breathing world; here the world we’re enmeshed in is an endless series of glowing shapes, and it’s more like being trapped in a game of Tetris than an awesome computer reality … and that’s the real problem. In spite of Avatar’s obviously weak script, I loved it; I was in awe of the technology, and actually felt almost smaller in the face of the achievement. Tron: Legacy 3D has the same script problems – maybe more – but can’t compensate with technological brilliance. For all of it’s promise of 3D, the world of Tron: Legacy 3D is decidedly 2D: Dull and Derivative.
–Mike Schmidt. You can learn more about Mike and his comedy, his podcast, and his aging at mikeschmidtcomedy.com
