We have come to another week of Film News which will enlighten, sadden, or just plain piss you off. Onward!
I know it’s been almost a week, but let’s take another moment to reflect on the wonderful Anton Yelchin, who died last weekend of bizarre circumstances that involved being run over by his own SUV. What a terrible thing to have happen. Senseless.
In this week’s “Does anyone in Hollywood really care?” story, actress Kate Winslet is nearing a deal that will have her star in Woody Allen’s next film. With recent allegation’s against Allen that he abused his daughter, Dylan Farrow, people still seem to be clamoring to work with him. Sure, it’s ‘innocent until proven guilty’, but you don’t want to even wait until it’s proven one way or the other?
In this week’s other “Does anyone really care?” story, the sequel to Stake Land, The Stakelander, has just finished production. Connor Paolo and Nick Damici reprise their roles from the original movie. Oh, here’s the rub, though: The Stakelander will be released on the SyFy Channel. So, yeah, that’s a bad sign.
In this week’s “Maybe they offered her enough money” story, actress Noomi Rapace has joined the cast of Alien: Covenant. Seems to me that she took her time coming on board, which makes me wonder if they had to sweeten that deal to get her to do it.
In this week’s “Comedian to Actor” story, once stand-up comedian Hannibal Burres is joining the cast of Spiderman: Homecoming. Sony and Marvel had no comment. So, we don’t know what role he’ll play. I guess we’ll have to wait with the rest of the civilians.
In this week’s “Don’t really care either way” story, Maggie Grace, Ryan Kwanten and Ralph Ineson have joined Toby Kebbel in Rob Cohen’s action thriller, Category 5. Cohen is directing forma script he co-wrote with Scott Windhauser, Jeff Dixon, Anthony Fingleton, and Carlos Davis. Gee, you got enough cooks in that kitchen, guys? You sure you don’t want me to help? Ok, just checking.
The movie follows a group of tech hackers looking to commit a $ 600 million heist from a Coastal U.S. mint facility a the same time as a disastrous Category 5 storm is about to hit. Sounds like Twister crossed with a bank heist movie. That must have been the pitch, right? “It’s like Twister, crossed with Ocean’s 11! AND it’s got FIVE writers! It can’t lose!” Suit behind desk: “Sounds like money in the bank to me! SOLD!” Oh, poor Rob Cohen…
Wait, why am I defending him? His best credits are being a producer on The Witches of Eastwick, The Serpent and the Rainbow, and…yeah, that’s it.
In this week’s “Better late than never” story, after 30 years, we will finally get to buy the soundtrack to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. La-La Land Records has made a deal with Paramount to release the soundtrack. It had now classic songs on it like, ‘Oh Yeah’ by Yellow, and the English Beats ‘March of the Swivelheads’, Dream Academy’s ‘The Edge of Forever’, and of course, The Beatles ‘Twist and Shout’. Apparently, at the time, John Hughes didn’t think anyone would want to buy an album with those particular songs on it. Uummm, okay.
In this week’s “Scariest couple” story, Nicolas Cage and Selma Blair will star as parents who inexplicably attack their children in the independent thriller, Mom and Dad.
Bryan Taylor is directing from his own script, which focuses on a teenage girl and her brother who must survive a 24-hour mass hysteria of unknown origins – which causes parents to turn on their own offspring.
All I can think of is, if you think Cage was crazy in, oh, almost anything he’s ever done, I can NOT WAIT to see how crazy he is in this. Could this become our new favorite Nicolas Cage performance? Let’s hope so!
In this week’s “Star Trek, lawsuits be damned” story, Star Trek: Axanar, the fan-made Trek film that has been recently plagued by a lawsuit from CBS and Paramount, is forging ahead in spite of it. The big studios are to this fan film, what the Prime Directive is to Captain Kirk, “Screw you and the horse you rode in on!” They’re going to make this Axanar film either way, seeing as they got their Kickstarter funded to the tune of $ 628,000 (and that was only part of what they raised). Whether anyone ever sees it is a different story.
Axanar takes place during the Four Years War, the war with the Klingon Empire that almost tore the Federation apart, and whose resolution solidified the Federation and allowed it to become the entity we know in Kirk’s time.
I believe I know a guy producing on this and I have hopes to see it made.
In this week’s “Jason Statham fix” story, back in 2011, Statham starred in The Mechanic, a remake of the 1972 Charles Bronson classic. Well, now he’s returning in The Mechanic: Resurrection. Not exactly a surprise plot, but Statham, as hired gunman Arthur Bishop, thinks he’s done with that life, but then some evil guys kidnap the love of his life, played by Jessica Alba, and he has to assassinate three impossible targets to save her. But of course, Bishop plays by his own rules, so you know he’ll do some serious ass-kicking to get shit done his way.
The Mechanic: Resurrection is directed by Dennis Gansel and also stars Michelle Yeoh and Tommy Lee Jones in a goatee.
In this week’s “See what an Oscar can do?” story, Legendary has landed the hot project Bad Blood, which is to be written and directed by Adam McKay, starring Jennifer Lawrence as the founder of controversial blood-testing company Theranos. A bidding war started for the project after McKAys’ film, The Big Short, made such a splash at the Oscars. Well, good for him.
In this week’s “Speaking of Roland Emmerich” story, Universal has Roland Emmerich’s next big sci-fi epic called Moonfall. The studio spent a whopping seven figures to buy the spec script, written by Emmerich and his collaborator, Harald Kloser, and Spencer Cohen. The film will be directed by Emmerich and produced by him and Kloser. They make a point to mention that the film will be fast-tracked.
Moonfall is described as Emmerich’s 2012 mashed together with Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, following an unlikely band of misfits who must unite to save humanity when the moon falls out of orbit and hurtles towards earth.
So, Moonfall is about the moon falling into Earth. Got it. Glad we could untangle that complex, labyrinthian plot.
And finally, in this week’s “Buying the turd” story, according to the Hollywood Reporter, A24 has made a deal with director Gus Van Sant to release his film, Sea of Trees, starring Matthew McConaughy, Naomi Watts, and Ken Watanabe. The film, which is eagerly anticipated, has McConaughy starring as a grief-stricken architect who travels to the famous suicide forest in Japan to kill himself, only to encounter a mysterious Japanese man (Watanabe). it premiered at the same festival as The Lobster, but to “one of the most spectacularly negative responses in the history of Cannes”.
The writer at The Playlist says it is “such a profoundly stupid film that it should be a lot of fun to talk about”. Oh stop! You’re just saying that to get me to go see it! 😉
~ Neil T. Weakley, your average movie-goer, happy to bring you film news that’s either of varying degrees of interest, or completely incredulous.