Welcome to the Friday the 13th installment of the Weakley Film News! Let’s see if we can find a good horror story here just for the hell of it.
In this week’s “Is he going to do action movies forever, now?” story, Liam Neeson has signed on to star in a remake of the hit Norwegian film In Order of Disappearance, which will be directed by Hans Petter Molland, the guy that directed the original. Frank Baldwin is writing the script.
Neeson will play the protagonist role originated by Stellan Skarsgard. He’s a snowplow driver who doesn’t get worked up about much, until his son is murdered and it is made to look like an overdose, by criminals involved in drug deals. It turns the mild-mannered man’s attention from snow to body removal and becomes a tense action thriller with Dirty Harry-esque intensity, where bad guys pile up like snow drifts when the killers suspect a rival gang. The remake is being re-imagined to take place in a U.S. resort like Aspen with a different set of ethnic rivals than the Euro version, so Neeson’s character stays behind the wheel of the snow plow.
And speaking of Neeson, he is prepping to star in the Peter Landesman-directed Felt, playing former FBI No. 2 Mark Felt, who became the Deep Throat source during the Watergate cover-up that undid the Nixon Administration.
In this week’s “Weird reimagining” story, Jumanji is getting a reboot, and Jack Black has just been added to it. He’ll be joining Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Kevin Hart. For those that don’t know it, the film is adapted from the 1981 children’s book of the same name. Written by Chris Van Allsburg, it tells the story of two young siblings who find and play a jungle adventure board game that comes to life, unleashes a previous player who was trapped in the game along with wild animals, and much destruction ensues.
Who knows what they’ll do with these three guys in the film. They are still looking for two more main cast members – I assume the two kids. But with these three guys, it already sounds like a much different film then the original.
In this week’s “What are doing with that axe?” story, director of The Boy, Craig William Macneill, will now be helming Lizzie Borden, starring Kristin Stewart and Chloe Sevigny. Bryce Kass wrote the screenplay for the gothic thriller about the Borden family being brutally murdered in 1892. Sevigny will play Lizzie Borden, an ordinary woman who longed for freedom from her father’s cold, domineering control. She found a sympathetic, kindred spirit in Bridget Sullivan (to be portrayed by Stewart), a young maid working for the family.
Oh, and in this week’s “Are you making it or not?” story, The Beetlejuice sequel saga continues. Tim Burton is now on record saying, “It’s something that I really would like to do in the right circumstances, but it’s one of those films where it has to be right,” states Burton, who directed the first movie back in 1988. “It’s not a kind of a movie that cries out [for a sequel], it’s not the Beetlejuice trilogy. So it’s something that if the elements are right — because I do love the character and Michael Keaton’s amazing as that character, so we’ll see. But there’s nothing concrete yet.”
So, NO, there is NO Beetlejuice sequel happening as of now. Burton’s next film is Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children due in September. After that – are you ready – he’ll be making a live-action adaptation of Dumbo for Disney. As bad ideas go, this ranks pretty fucking high.
In this week’s “Something to look forward to” story, dates for some big films have been announced. Warner Bros. Green Lantern Corps will get a date of July 24, 2020. This film will basically reboot DC’s Green Lantern from that unfortunate attempt with Ryan Reynolds. Really glad Deadpool did so well for him, because this new film will hopefully help us all forget that first one.
Sadly, Godzilla 2 has been pushed months and will now be released on March 22, 2019, instead of June 2018. But this way it won’t have to compete with Transformers 6. Sadly, we all still have to deal with… Transformers 6. However, Captain Marvel will be released two weeks before Godzilla 2, but that should work out fine. Also coming out the same weekend as Godzilla 2, will be Paramount’s Amusement Park.
Yeah, I was confused for a moment, too, but Amusement Park is an animated film with some big name voice talent, like Matthew Broderick, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Garner, Jeffrey Tambor, Ken Jeong, Kenan Thompson and John Oliver.
And Godzilla vs. Kong is still a real thing, and is slated for a May 29, 2020 release date. How are they going to account for the size difference? Seriously.
UPDATE: director Gareth Edwards has left Godzilla 2 project. Apparently it is an amicable parting with Legendary. Edwards has other gestating projects he wants to do, most of which are smaller than these back-to back big tentpole movies (Godzilla and Rogue One).
In this week’s “Took long enough” story, Jurassic World writer, Derek Connolly is going to write the sequel to Pacific Rim. Marvel’s Daredevil showrunner Steven DeKnight will direct. Connolly is currently writing the sequel to Jurassic World right now, and is also writing Star Wars: Ep IX. So, he’s keeping really busy and if he hasn’t even started Pacific Rim 2, when the Hell will that even hit screens? I hope nobody wants to see it anytime soon.
In this week’s “How do I operate my Thetan?” story, Magnolia has taken the North American rights on Louis Theroux’s doc film My Scientology Movie, even before it’s Cannes Market screening. Altitude Film Distributing will distribute in the UK. John Dower directs Theroux’s first theatrical feature documentary, as he immerses himself in the religion’s teachings and practices with one of its key defectors, Mark “Marty” Rathbun, and invoking the ire of the Church in the process. Yay! I’m already looking forward to this one! 🙂
In this week’s “We will not be deterred” story, Atari will move forward with both a movie based on their classic game Centipede, and Missile Command, despite the crashing and burning of Pixels. Please, please, PLEASE, just keep Adam Sandler out of it.
In this week’s “But that’s television!” story, Castle has been cancelled by ABC, Supergirl gets moved from CBS to the CW, and Wentworth Miller, who plays Leonard Snart (Captain Cold) on Legends of Tomorrow, now has a contract that allows him to appear in various DC shows created by Greg Berlanti, such as Arrow and Flash. This is because he won’t be on Legends next season. If you watch the show, you’ll know why. *cough* Dead! *cough* Oh, relax, it’s not really a spoiler. There’s a LOT of time travel on that show. No one stays dead forever when time travel is involved.
In this week’s “Does this tux make me look short?” story, we’ll be getting a sequel to Luc Jacquet’s March of the Penguins, the Oscar winning documentary featuring narration by Morgan Freeman. It’s titled March of the Penguins 2: The Call, and was shot mostly in 4K last year in Antarctica.
in this week’s “Is nothing sacred anymore?(Not in Hollywood)” story, Fox is remaking/reimagining The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Fox, you got some ‘splaining to do. (Oh, I guess this is the “horror” story this week.)
And finally, in this week’s random Johnny Depp story, Depp played Donald Trump in a Funny Or Die spoof movie that makes his feeling on Trump pretty clear. “If Trump is elected President of the United States, in a historical way it’s exciting,” Depp said during an interview with Channel 5 News in London. “Because we will see the actual last President of the United States. It just won’t work after that.”
Then, asked if he won’t be thrilled if Trump is elected president, Depp added, “I don’t believe in that stuff.”
Don’t believe in what? Trump being elected? Trump’s existence? America’s current political model? Trolls? Evil? Reality?
~ Neil T Weakley, your average movie-goer, still secure in the knowledge that Johnny Depp is possibly detached from reality.