If you want a Holiday, family-fun giggle fest then boy do you need to see The Road! And by family fun I mean a horrific, post-apocalyptic future that makes you want to stand in a bucket of water and chew on plugged-in Christmas tree lights. It’s about as funny as Meet the Fockers but they’re cannibals. (editors note: Graham and everyone at the site believes Meet the Fockers was a stupid movie). Seriously this film is depressing and horrifying. I mean it is a great film, in that the acting, story and direction are very good. Had it not been executed (poor choice of words) correctly it would have been ridiculous. But it was painfully real. That’s what made me uneasy as I watched.
Based on the book by Cormac McCarthy (No Country For Old Men) The Road is a gripping tale of the future after a mysterious disaster. I use the term ‘gripping’ like a cage fighter who has me in a rear naked choke-hold waiting for the inevitable tap-out. In essence, this film is fucking INTENSE! Viggo Mortensen plays the father of a 10 year-old boy and this story is about their day-to-day struggle to survive in a sunless world of barren evil. Only seen in flashbacks, Charleze Theron is the wife and mother who didn’t make it. Guy Pearce and Robert Duvall come in for memorable cameos, but its all Viggo and the boy played by Kodi Smit-McPhee.
Viggo does a great job with the heavy, “I’ll do anything to protect my boy”, lifting. Trying to survive in a world where eating people is the norm, could make some parents feel a little challenged with the day-today tasks of child rearing. I’m sure Oprah has covered this. Young Smit-McPhee gives a hopeful balance and moral compass to Mortensen’s bleak, memories of the past make today even worse, outlook. Their relationship drives the film and it is where the lint-sized piece of hope is found. Too bad the dildos that made 2012 didn’t see this before churning out that bag of dirt. Both movies are covering the same topic, but one uses great acting, directing and story while the other is using a computer earth chasing John Cusack. Oh Roland, why can’t you and Mike Bay retire to a gay island and play with your robots. Leave the filmmaking to people like John Hillcoat.
How would I react in this dark, awful future? That is the question that punches every viewer in the face. We all like to think that we would be noble and honest, but when civilization goes away, so do civilized people. No food or water makes anyone become an animal. Just ask Chris Mancini anytime I’m at his house and he doesn’t have organic iced tea. That is the question that the McCarthy and director John Hillcoat ask. The answers aren’t pretty, but the hope in this film is. Go see this film during the Holidays when your relatives are driving you crazy and know that maybe, in the future you can eat them. Seriously, CFN does not condone cannibalism except when it’s Michael Bay. PALM STRIKE the future.