If Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a spy film, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a chick flick. I’ve seen this movie twice. You might be thinking, “I remember you tweeting that you didn’t like it that much the first time and yet…”? Yes, but think about it. If I hadn’t seen this I’d have to see some ADULT film. Now, it’s been out two weeks so I should be able to vent and celebrate and all that without anyone freaking out, right? There’s spoilers coming up is what I’m saying.
If Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a spy film, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a chick flick. I’ve seen this movie twice. You might be thinking, “I remember you tweeting that you didn’t like it that much the first time and yet…”? Yes, but think about it. If I hadn’t seen this I’d have to see some ADULT film. Now, it’s been out two weeks so I should be able to vent and celebrate and all that without anyone freaking out, right? There’s spoilers coming up is what I’m saying.
Let’s say the nice things first. Jamie Foxx was great as Electro. I thought he, and the writers, nailed Electro. Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy was perfect (smart, funny, independent “I will die on MY terms asshat”) and Andrew Garfield is charming and quippy. The action sequences were fun and it all looked cool. For sure, some people at Sony are having fun with Spider-Man. Not as much fun as the people at Disney’s Marvel Studio are having, but still.
Here are my problems. It’s almost 2.5 hours… there’s a half hour I would have cut. The best 15 minutes to cut would have been after the first big battle. That last 15 minutes could have been the beginning and the end of the NEXT Amazing Spider-Man movie. Green Goblin and Rhino… start with Rhino, end with Green Goblin, and Emma Stone gets to be fun again for another hour.
The real problem with Spider-Man might be me. I might have outgrown Spider-Man. Dan Slott just finished a great arc (Superior Spiderman) with Doctor Octopus. You should all read it. Because, while Doc Ock is crazy, he is an adult man. And he decides to “do” Spider-Man’s life as if it were being run by an adult man. And then, almost immediately, as a crazy motherfucker. So, it’s not all great for Peter Parker but it makes clear the things I liked about Spider-Man as a child and what drives me mad, occasionally, when I watch or read Spider-Man as an adult.
Spider-Man is the most emo of all the superheroes. He’s full of teen angst and drama and uncertainty. He’s charming and sincere, but he gets bit by the spider when he’s 17, not the most stable of ages in the lives of a “yout”. He is a “yout” with his feels right there on his sleeve.
For my Spider-Man enjoyment, I want, so much, for him to be happy. For Christ’s sake, he isn’t Batman. So when I go to see Spider-Man, I’m usually thinking; oh quippy webhead! I forget that he’s SUPPOSED to be full of teen twitchiness. He’s not a sophisticated guy. He’s a man-child and dramatic, completely full of, “What does it all mean, dude?”
Even remembering that, someone should have stopped the scene where he throws himself onto his twin bed, puts in his earbuds, and broods to some rock ballad. Broods. Like a Disney Channel sitcom. When he stood and headed to his closet, I ACTUALLY thought, for a moment, that he was going to rock a Footloose-like angry dance. For it IS the way that “youts” deal with pain. They dance.
Yes, The Avengers has raised the bar and makes me want all action movies to tighten up the plot and writing. But parts of this movie were good. And someone does always die in the great arcs of Spide-Man comics. Aunt May has died so many times. Oh, she comes back… but there’s always regret while Peter emotionally self-immolates. But maybe, in just one movie, for me, just let him finish a big battle and go for schwarma.
PS #letXMenbeGreat #letXmenbeGreat #letXMenbeGreat #letXmenbeGreat #letXMenbeGreat
Jackie Kashian