You know, Ted 2 has way more semen in it than is comfortable. I mean, it ‘s got more semen in it than most gonzo porn films. And let’s face it, I don’t mind some gonzo porn, so wow, you’re talking about a lot of ejaculate. Seth Macfarlane’s humor seems to swing wildly from smart and/or witty humor to going for the most obvious low brow gags. This is my only problem with MacFarlane. If you’re not smoking weed, you only get half the jokes. If you ARE smoking weed, you still only get half the jokes. And many will just make you groan. And not in a good way.
Ted 2 isn’t as far from the first Ted movie as you might think. The trailers lead you to believe it is, but not so much. In this mediocre sequel, Ted is married for a year and things are getting tense. He and the wife are arguing and Ted decideds the way to bring them closer together is to have a baby. Well, after some sophomoric gags about getting sperm donors and fertility clinics, we get to the point that the world doesn’t really see Ted as a living being, but just an object, a thing. So off we go to the court room to try to legally declare Ted a living person. But alas, that potentially lofty, and humorous idea ends too soon, and we’re left with another scheme by Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), who is trying to capture Ted for himself – and a big toy company who wants to mass produce a bunch of Teds.
Ted 2 isn’t all bad. In fact, there are a number of really funny bits here. Like I said, you’ll enjoy at least half of what Seth MacFarlane does here. He shines most when he’s winking to the past – things of his youth – or when there’s a moment of inspired humor. Casting Sam Jones of the 1980 movie Flash Gordon as Ted and John’s (Mark Wahlberg) friend is genius. He’s the priest that marries Ted and his wife and his robe has a sash that has “Flash” embroidered on it. There’s also a great bit with Liam Neeson buying a box of Trix cereal. Then stick around for the stinger.
It’s when Seth dips into the well of dick jokes or bodily fluids that things go awry for me. And sometimes the jokes are just overly obvious. Not so funny when you see them coming from a mile away and five years ago.
But there are some great guest appearances here from people I would never have expcted. Michael Dorn is great poking fun at his own Star Trek role as Worf, along with Patrick Warburton doing something equally funny. There is a great part of Ted 2 – maybe my favorite – that takes place at San Diego ComiCon. It’s clear that though MacFarlane is exactly that kind of nerd, he doesn’t take it so seriously that he can’t poke some serious fun at those very same nerds, and therefore himself.
Everybody in Ted 2 is great, for whatever that’s worth. And CG Ted is still well integrated into the live action. But again, only about half the jokes/gags are funny, the rest are kind of disgusting and juvenile. It’s great if that’s your thing. But even so, Ted 2 just isn’t quite as entertaining as its’ predecessor. If it showed up on cable or you could see it on a plane, go for it. But you can hold onto your movie theater dollars for something else. Ted 2 barely gets three kittenhands. Just shy of it, really. You’re still better off going to see Mad Max: Fury Road again, instead.
~ Neil T. Weakley, your average movie-goer, actually cautiously optimistic about Terminator Genisys tonight!