Everybody needs an Igor – this film could’ve used one, too. I think that’s the real lesson here, even though the trumpeted one was that “it’s better to be a good nobody than an evil somebody.” What the story really showed was that to DO anything at all you need someone focused on the job, someone not caught up in the thrill of the moment, but just sensible enough to pull the right switch. In the land of Malaria, all hunchbacks are named Igor. And all Igors must serve the crazed evil inventors at the top of the country’s social hierarchy, doing all the practical things like pulling switches and finding the right kind of capacitor. But Igor’s master doesn’t listen to him, and the invention blows up in his face and leaves him very dead. That’s when Igor decides to live his dream of being an evil inventor in his own right. And when he stops being practical and starts being romantic. He falls in love with his monstrous creation and learns important life lessons, but it’s his pet rabbit who actually saves the day. Even the villain’s shapeshifting henchwoman is far more interesting (and effective at purloining ideas) than the egomaniacal villain himself. I think the film could’ve taken this to heart; while everyone was having fun being artsy, someone in preproduction should’ve been fine-tuning the storyline and getting up to speed on the standards for today’s computer graphics. In fact, I’d say this film proves the opposite of its moral: it would have been better to be an evil somebody than a good nobody. As it is, “Igor” will get filed away with the many moralistic, cute children’s films that are made every year. But if it had followed up its Burton-esque aesthetic with a unique plot, it could have become a refreshing favorite. As it is, the cutesied-up cliches form the weak link that breaks the chain. The plot just drags down the star cast (John Cusack, Steve Buschemi, Eddie Izzard, etc.) and crazy premise (a land that invents horrific monsters and gets paid by the world NOT to produce them?) of the amazing film I can imagine. In my head. -Sharon Campbell