It was right there all along, a story waiting to be written. Sure, plenty of comics and movies have covered the reluctant superhero, a guy who is more or less forced to use his powers for the greater good, to transcend his normalcy and reach heights he never imagined he was capable of. Everybody from Peter Parker to John McClain has stepped up in the face of adversity to become a hero, proving all along that they had it in them, and that for all their faults they were good, decent people who put the safety of others ahead of their own. But what if they hadn’t? What if they decided that great power did not necessarily bring great responsibility? What if Spider-Man was a dick?That seven word pitch is the basic idea for “Hancock”, the newest Will Smith Fourth Of July Money Printing Good Christ How Many Zeroes Are In That Opening Week Gross Blockbuster. Will is a superhero, and to call him reluctant would be charitable. He’s downright ignorant. Sure, he’ll fight crime; just don’t expect him to be too careful about it. His technique is very much “If you want to make an omelet, you’ve got to break a few eggs…and street signs, and stretches of highway. Hell, why not destroy a train while you’re at it?”. His drunken misadventures have the general populace thinking they’d rather deal with rampant crime than a super-powered jagoff, and they aren’t shy about telling him that. Hancock’s approval rating ranks somewhere between George Bush and tomatoes…which is where Jason Bateman comes in. After a meet-cute for the ages, Bateman’s character, a PR guy specializing in hopeless causes, decides that he’s going to help Hancock rehab his public image. This thrills his son to no end, but infuriates his wife Charlize Theron, who thinks the man’s a menace and should be left to his own devices. After several warrants are issued for Hancock’s arrest, Bateman convinces him that going to prison is the right move, saying the cops will come calling when crime gets too out of control to handle on their own. Hancock, of course, thinks Bateman is insane, but allows himself to be convinced. After a hastily called press conference Hancock is arrested and jailed, waiting for the public to decide they need him. Now, if you’ve seen the trailer, everything you’ve read to this point is no surprise. However, the filmmakers have done a great job of not letting the real plot of the movie be revealed, a plot which takes place after Hancock is sent to prison. I won’t spoil it here, except to say that the Green Goblin dies…err, wait. I mean The Joker dies. No, that’s not it…virtually all of the X-Men die? No, that was “X-Men: The Last Stand.” Dammit, I just saw it yesterday… One thing I really enjoyed about the story is they didn’t kid it up. A lot of these movies are trying to sell Happy Meals, but “Hancock” wasn’t afraid to have their hero be a prick. He drinks, gets in the face of regular people, even drops an F-bomb at one point. It’s hard to make Will Smith unlikable, but these guys did their best. Of course, now that Big Willie Style might be going Thetan on us, making him unlikable might not be such a stretch. Bateman is amazing; there is NOBODY who can throw a line away like he does. Theron is hot, and also really hot. There is one scene where she’s especially hot, although her hotness is never overshadowed by the fact that she’s really, really hot. You always hear the term “popcorn movie”, and “Hancock” may be the very definition of the term. Huge star, big action set pieces, 90 minutes and out the door. “Hancock” has everything you need to forget that “The Dark Knight” is going to be the seminal moviegoing experience of our lives…well, for an hour and a half, anyway. Then it’s right back to counting the minutes until Heath Ledger blows our minds.
—Mike Schmidt
