Why look everyone, it’s another Hollywood remake of an 80’s slasher classic. After the attempts of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Halloween”, it seems someone thought they should take a crack at “Friday the 13th”. Oh yeah, that somebody is Michael Bay. Is it any wonder that this movie is another Operation Fail? Not to me.
You probably already know the story. Guy in hockey mask kills unsuspecting youths in the woods. That’s it. Of course, they give the background of Jason (the guy in the hockey mask, for those on an exclusive Disney movie diet) and that hasn’t changed from the original. Not that it matters either way. So in this, Jared Padalecki (from the TV show “Supernatural”) goes looking for his sister who recently disappeared while camping. He runs into a guy and his friends spending the weekend at this guys parents big summer house on …Crystal Lake.
And so begins the killing. This movie has much of the same tone of the original and some of the same ingredients, too. You have the unsuspecting young people that get killed, mostly with a machete. It’s all looking into dark places and suddenly getting killed, or running in the woods and Jason showing up. There’s plenty of gratuitous nudity of beautiful young women and their breasts. And of course, there’s at least one guy that is pretty much a dick and you really want to see him dead. And yes, I’m also referring to Michael Bay for producing this uninspired rehash of a movie.
The unfortunate part is that, while you would expect the killings to be somewhat inventive and, for me I actually expect to see some pretty decent gore. Hey, the original had some good graphic sequences, I figure that would be the case here. But no, the deaths aren’t all that inventive, there really isn’t that much gore, and quite frankly, Jason seems smarter and more mobile in this slick, more serious toned remake.
The original had a certain degree of humor to it. Maybe part of that is because they had less money and some of the effects looked like effects, but it was still gross-out stuff and certainly served its’ function well despite the nervous laughter it sometimes produced. This one was pretty dark and the gore was mostly implied. “Hostel” should have had more implied gore, this should have more obvious stuff.
At least the end had the twist that was very much in the spirit of the original film, and yet, at the same time it certainly leads us to believe that Michael Bay wants to do a sequel. Hardly a surprise, I suppose. But mostly this movie is just uninspired with nothing new to add to the franchise. It’s simply uninteresting. There is no reason to watch this. It’s just another Hollywood remake of a movie that never needed a remake. Go back and watch the original and have more fun.
Neil T. Weakley, your average movie-goer, more afraid of Michael Bay than Jason Voorhees.