What can you really say about this movie? It is what it is, and what it is, is pretty entertaining in a viscerally absurd sort of way.
What can you really say about this movie? It is what it is, and what it is, is pretty entertaining in a viscerally absurd sort of way.
If you missed the first… four movies I don’t think you’ll be that lost here. Fast Five finds the fast driving criminals Toretto (Vin Diesel) and O’Conner (Paul Walker) on the run from the law, and other criminals in beautiful Rio! There’s a heist planned, The Rock, fast cars, machine guns and people with their shirts either off or on too tightly who look like they probably work out.
This movie is literally a live action Road Runner Cartoon with cars, guns, and an erection that lasts for two hours. Cinematic Viagra. But that’s not a slam. OK, it kinda is. But the truth is, when these elements are put together properly you have a really enjoyable popcorn film, and that’s what you have here.
There were definitely many scenes that strained even the most generous suspension of disbelief. Oh, you’re climbing over the fence and stealing four police cars from a police station? Wow, that looked easy. I guess there is no gate, guards, or cameras. At a police station. Fine. Add in goofy dialogue and some extraneous characters and you have your studio development notes all implemented.
Oh, and criminals have feelings too. The “breather” scenes with the characters exploring their humanity and morality were just as absurd as cars driving off a train. But since your brain has already been shut off, you buy it.
The action is great. It’s fast paced, there’s lots of it. AND IT’S NOT SHOT TIGHTLY. THANK YOU DIRECTOR JUSTIN LIN. I can actually see what’s going on. People get punched, cars go fast, and stuff blows up real good. This is why you go to see this movie. And it delivers.
The Rock was an absolutely fantastic addition to the franchise. No one out testosterones the Rock. And to see him beat the shit our of Vin Diesel, well worth the price of admission. Hey Vin, you’re not voicing the Iron Giant anymore. Stop doing your growl/mumble meathead-speak.
So you may not like Fast Five if you’re: A)A physicist, B)Married to the laws of Motion and Gravity, C)A screenwriter. D)Sober. But I have to say, when a movie gleefully puts all reality things aside knowingly, and under Justin Lin’s self aware direction it comes together in a ridiculous ball of big dumb fun.
So see this movie in the right frame of mind, and you’ll enjoy yourself. But like a torrid one night stand, you just might feel guilty about it afterwards.
–Chris Mancini
