Dear person sitting two rows in front of me at Burlesque: If you’re so smart, why did you buy a ticket to Burlesque?
Dear person sitting two rows in front of me at Burlesque: If you’re so smart, why did you buy a ticket to Burlesque? I hear you sighing and snickering. I mean, I can almost hear you roll your eyes. Are you disappointed with the plot? The dialogue? Did you see the movie posters of Christina Aguilera and Cher with false eyelashes and expect something else? What did you expect when you came to see Burlesque?!
I’ll tell you what I expected. I expected to see a small town girl move to Hollywood to follow her dream. I expected that girl to have an unbelievable and undiscovered talent, and I wanted her to find her way to a fictitious Sunset Strip cabaret owned by an aging performer. And I expected that aging performer to give her the chance that she needs. Oh, and I expected to see Christina and Cher sing and dance. I got it all. Awesome.
So we have a tired plot line. So what? We know the drill – the club is in trouble and they need money to save it. We have a wealthy developer (Eric Dane) trying to take it all away, a bad girl dancer (Kristen Bell) trying to sabotage our heroine, and a devoted, funny gay man (Stanley Tucci) for comic relief. Of course, our struggling artist, Ali, has to start out as a cocktail waitress. Oh, I almost forgot – we have a cute bartender love interest (Cam Gigandet). Perfect!
If you’re so sophisticated, person sitting two rows in front of me, then you should expect this. In fact, if it were missing any of this, you would be disappointed. You’d miss the montage of Ali studying books on the art of burlesque. You’d miss the conversation in the reflection of a makeup mirror. You would miss Cher saying they have 48 hours to come up with the money. You’d miss it, smartie.
I’m not too cynical to watch pretty girls with amazing bodies dance on a stage. The numbers and costumes are great. The performances are good, and I think Miss Aguilera (in her feature film debut) does a fine job.
Go watch Showgirls or Glitter if you and your know-it-all friends wanna laugh it up. But if you wanna sign up for Burlesque, then strap on some balls and sign up for the whole sequined, choreographed, clichéd thing.
So, person sitting two rows in front of me, if you think you’re too smart for Burlesque, then that means you’re too dumb for Burlesque.