OMFG. Michael Bay just masturbated into my eyes. That’s the only way I can accurately describe this $200 million dollar cinematic fuck you. It really was horrible. The movie was summed up in one scene, when Shia Le Pew is in his college dorm and there is a “Bad Boys II” poster on the wall.…
The thing about Pixar, is they have raised the bar for themselves. When you go to a Pixar movie, you expect that it’s going to be awesome. That it needs to be. If not, you’re going to be disappointed. Well, guess what? “Up” is indeed fantastic. By tying thousands of balloon to his home, 78-year-old…
It has been a long time since I have walked out of a movie. I can stomach a lot. But I could not stomach this childish, contrived celluloid lobotomy. I tried to stay, I really did. I made it to close to an hour and a half, and now I want to thank the Arclight…
OK, so it’s finally here. But is it any good? I think it is. But there were some parts I was REALLY not sure about. But here’s the thing: This movie is going to make a lot of people angry and a lot of people happy. Which will you be? KINDA SPOILER ALERT BUT NOT…
Sometimes movies are exactly what you expect. Sometimes they’re more, sometimes less. It’s all about expectations. If you want to see this movie, I’m not really sure what you’re expecting. If you’re expecting a gritty realistic crime drama with twists and turns you’re going to be sorely disappointed. If you’re a Keanu Reeves fan then–…
Okay, I didn’t like “Little Miss Sunshine”. Sorry. I thought it was contrived and forced and had every indie screenwriter cliché shoved into it and down the audience’s throat. The performances, which were excellent, masked these weaknesses and went all the way to fooling the Academy, which by the way, isn’t that hard to do…
The taking of my $12: 1, 2, 3… See? The jokes write themselves. This movie was like watching a bubble float by. Pretty for about three seconds and then it pops and you forget it ever existed. It’s the story of… does it matter? Travolta playing a wall street psycho who hijacks a subway train…
I am a huge fan of Frank Miller’s comic book work, from “Daredevil” to “Dark Knight”, to “Sin City”. He’s a visionary comic book writer and artist. But unless Robert Rodriguez is around and not making stupid movies for his kids, Frank Miller should stay away from filmmaking. “The Spirit” is based on the Will…
Speed Racer has two speeds. Too slow and too fast. If ever there was a movie that should be around an hour and a half, it’s “Speed Racer.” It is however, a two and a half hour computer generated eye punch that will leave your head spinning and seeing only pastels. Then it slows down…
I do love me some good whiny suburban angsty nihilism. And “Revolutionary Road” has it, and then some. Director Sam Mendes returns to familiar American Beauty territory, winds back the clock, and then casts his wife and the other guy from Titanic in the leads. And you know what? It works. Based on a novel…