“Amelia” is the story of Amelia Earhart portrayed by Hilary Swank, who you may know at the… OMG, I’m bored just thinking about it. This is the most boring biopic of any I’ve seen. From the first line I was bored. And there’s no reason to be bored. It’s Amelia Earhart, known for having a big personality, breaking the rules, being outspoken. She had a husband and a lover, she flew across the Atlantic and around the world. Yet and still, someone found a way to make that bbbbooooorrrrr-iiiinnnnggggg. Dang.
Unwatchable. Really. And I meditate on a regular basis, I’m not afraid to de-excite. But this, from the very beginning, I could not find anything to hook into. Except the scenery. That was good. It was pretty. And it was neat to see the old planes flying. But character-wise, everyone talked like that Pepperidge Farm guy, and I couldn’t suss out any emotion behind any of it. Too period-y without connection, or something.
Seriously, I walked out. Even though I was, in some sense, at work. And I was on a date. Cute guy, popcorn, he paid, the whole deal. We were cuddling and snuggling and bored as hell and simply had to go. Well, it was less walking out and more walking in. I mean, just because you leave one movie, no need to head home, right? Already paid for a ticket and there are 15 other films in some state of progression, dive in, right?
We hoofed it to “Serious Man.” Now, there’s a movie. And it’s all Coen brothers and trippy, characters you can lock into, one weird turn after another. And, it could be slow in places, but seeing how our slow bar was so low from “Amelia,” it actually seemed pretty exciting.
I recommend it. Overall, it was a good experience. Catch about a half hour of “Amelia,” then head into something else. “Paranormal Activity” would make for good contrast, for example. I hear “An Education” is good. John C. Reilly is in “The Vampire’s Assistant,” that’s probably fun. Really, anything is going to seem entertaining post-Swank. So, is “Amelia” a good date movie? Yes, if you don’t bond and head into another movie, it’d also be a good movie to make out to since it’s kind of long, you won’t be interested in the story, and the theater won’t be too crowded. Ah, love. Enjoy!