Safe Review

I like Jason Statham, it’s no secret. I’ve championed the Crank movies enough, particularly Crank 2, for their unique style and near comic book bending of reality. Even the Transporter movies have their action genre delights. However, Safe, even with its’ old school action set up and play, doesn’t have the inventiveness or even the chops of director team Neveldine and Taylor to save it.

The Real Stars of the Turner Classic Movie Channel

The room comes alive as the two men saunter in to meet the press. The self-described “hick farm boy” wears a light patterned silver suit with a yellow shirt open at the collar. The other, from a family steeped in politics, broadcasting, and show business, is dressed in jeans with his shirt tail out. Both men with degrees in journalism, born a generation apart, are at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood for roundtable interviews to kick off their duties as the main hosts of the TCM film festival. Four days of 83 classic films and several seminars drawing diehard movie fans from 49 states and 7 countries. Special guests will include Debbie Reynolds, Robert Wagner, Rhonda Fleming, Norman Jewison, Stanley Donen, and many more. But the true stars of this event are the gentlemen I’m describing, Robert Osborne and Ben Mankewicz.

Chimpanzee review

Chimpanzee is a movie made by a Disney. It’s about chimpanzees. Mostly one but I can’t say that is certain because I can’t tell chimpanzees apart because I am not a chimpanzee. Maybe I would have enjoyed this movie more if I were some sort of monkey, or if I were a human who was all about fruit and nut eating. Maybe it would have been enjoyable if I had entered the theater thinking, “Man, I hope I get to see hairy things eating over and over and over and over.” But I didn’t. So, fuck Chimpanzee.

The Hunger Games review

The Hunger Games is an odd title for a movie in which the main character is never hungry. The name doesn’t refer to someone’s appetite, but if you’re a fan of the book, you remember that characters from the poorer districts tended to be hungry fairly frequently. If you’re not familiar with the book or the story, it takes place in a futuristic North America that has been divided into twelve districts. Each year the districts send two volunteers, one boy and one girl between age 12 and 18, to the capitol to compete in “The Hunger Games.”