Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman star as a couple of incredibly uninteresting 14th Century knights that must help transport a suspected witch to some monastery where they will supposedly thwart what they think is her ongoing scheme called The Black Plague.
The Fighter is a story of a really cute guy and his crackhead brother. Tale as old as time.
This is the kind of movie I hate to review. Why? Because it was great. Just great. What are you supposed to review? Blah, blah, blah, it was good in that way and this. Boring. Not the movie, the movie was great. Unboring. The review, that’s the challenge here.
Elvis Presley was reportedly offered the role of LaBoeuf and–who knows–the film could very well have redefined Elvis as an actor. I think he’d have been great in the role. It only went to Campbell after Elvis’ manager, Colonel Tom Parker, insisted Elvis get top billing over John Wayne. IN A WESTERN! “Yeah, and after you sign that deal, get on the horn and book The Beatles to open for me in Liverpool!”
Oh, Paul Giamatti, I wonder how many films you could save just by being in them. I suspect many. I bet even M. Night Blahbity Blah had that in mind when he put you in Lady in the Water, despite that even your day-saving powers couldn’t help there.
Let me warn you in advance that even though I understand very few people have ever seen the TV version of The Green Hornet, I will be comparing the film and the show.
Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart are the stars of Rabbit Hole, but the real star of the film is grief. Specifically, the misery two parents go through when they lose a child. The film takes place eight months after the death of their son, and it delivers plenty of slow-motion tear-streaked faces, but it’s unlikely to deliver any in the audience unless you lost your kid on the way to the Cineplex or were one of the investors.
Black Swan is the story of a ballet dancer (Natalie Portman) who stops eating and starts seeing things. A cautionary tale.
Never has a movie so closely resembled the relationship I have with Comedy Film Nerds very own Graham Elwood. One time, he was the vibrant Geoffery Rush to my stammering Colin Firth when I, for some reason, was hired by the Travel Channel to host a 7 hour live Ghost Hunt on Halloween Night at a defunct mental asylum in Weston West Virginia.
The Company Men is about the story of rich people getting fired, and how they find their way among poor people. An oversimplification? Yes, and that’s pretty much the movie’s greatest weakness.