Dear person sitting two rows in front of me at Burlesque: If you’re so smart, why did you buy a ticket to Burlesque?
Don’t say it. You don’t have to tell me that you don’t like Jim Carrey, no one does, so just hear me out.
I have never been much of a fan of ballet, or opera, for that matter. My step-grandfather, a Scottish-born man, drinker of fine scotch, was a fan of both. He tried to instill some interest of these (no, not the scotch) in me as a teen, to no avail. However, if I had seen Black Swan then, I’m sure I would have changed my tune.
Ok, I admit it; I’ve not read a lot of Shakespeare. But I’ve enjoyed all of what I’ve seen adapted to film. Ha – spoken like a true MTV generation kid (ok, a little pre-MTV generation). And I have also enjoyed much of Julie Taymor’s directing. I loved the passion and creativity of her film Titus based on yet another Shakespearean work.
This movie looks like what stars do when they don’t want to pay for a vacation.
Whenever I watch the Lord of the Rings movies, I need to forget that I’ve ever read the books. Because when I can forget; they are great action movies with hitting and sploding. When I can’t, all I can think is, “Yeah, this is just a fancy-looking Willow.”
This month’s film from the vault is a genuine turkey that was organically raised in the mid 60’s and is still as fresh today as it was on it’s opening weekend. It didn’t stick around long, but, thanks to television, it’s popped up from time to time over the years and it comes with all the fixing’s to satiate even a diehard vegetarian. It’s so bad it’s not funny, it’s hysterical.
Why in the fuck are you reading this review instead of sitting in the theater watching Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is beyond me.
The movie opens in 1985, with Flynn telling his 12-year-old son all about The Grid, Tron and Clu, then leaving for work and his fateful date with the Master Control Program. Just before he leaves, he tells Sam they’ll always be partners, foreshadowing the events to come and ensuring a scene where the now-grown Sam has to remind his father that he said they would always be partners. Sigh.
Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman star as a couple of incredibly uninteresting 14th Century knights that must help transport a suspected witch to some monastery where they will supposedly thwart what they think is her ongoing scheme called The Black Plague.