The Resident Evil movies are not good movies. And yet, I’ve seen every one of them, and by choice. I think it started with being such a fan of the video games. But how is this fourth zombie/bio weapon go round. It’s the best one yet. I know, that’s crazy. But there it is.
With the summer movie season coming to a close, I decided I would take a look at some of this year’s offerings that were inspired by TV shows. But it got me thinking about other TV shows that have been adapted for the big screen and how so many of them suck. Here is a list of the worst.
When I see a movie titled “Devil”, you’ve already got my attention. But when I find out the story is written by M. Night Shyamalan, I am wary, as I, or anyone, should be. As you know, we give M. Night a lot of shit around here. And I’ll be honest, after Signs, I had my doubts. And hey, I even liked Unbreakable, where many others did not. And it it weren’t for the glaring plot hole in Signs, I might have stayed on board with that one.
I volunteered to see Easy A because I do a joke about Hester Prynne and The Scarlet Letter. And I love a teen romance movie.
It’s hard to imagine someone being able to make a movie that features only one character onscreen for the whole 90 plus minutes and actually being able to make it work, let alone just watchable. Oh, sure, I could watch Natalie Portman do her nails for 90 minutes, or Megan Fox sunbathe. Hell, I even love the movie Babe. 90 minutes of a talkin’ pig? I’m in. But a movie about a guy buried alive in a coffin? Really?
I want to go to The Town. I want to go where everything has a “whiskey back” and is a little dark. Where bank robber is a vocation like cop, gym teacher or bartender.
So I wanted to see this documentary, and it was just as heartbreaking as I thought it would be. So mission accomplished, I guess.
If you have never heard of the movie Atlantis Down, I don’t blame you, though it probably means you are not one of my Facebook friends. It is a American/Italian low budget Sci Fi Thriller that had its World Premiere at the Commodore Movie Theater in Portsmouth, VA where they flew me out for the event.
Oh, Wes Craven, where is your Nightmare On Elm Street, your Scream, your Serpent and the Rainbow? They are gems of the past. It would seem all we’re left with in the present is My Money -uh, Soul, To Take. Oh, sure, it looks good, and there’s some good mis-direction, but where is the horror?
What is there to really say here? It’s not like you don’t know what the Hell this film is about. Johnny Knoxville and his band of knuckleheads do more horrifyingly disturbing things to each other for the amusement (and horror) of others. Any questions? I didn’t think so.