About six weeks ago I was sitting in a theatre, waiting patiently for “Punisher: War Zone” to begin…and of course by “waiting patiently” I mean “rocking back and forth in my seat, rubbing the skull on my shirt while gleefully anticipating the carnage to come”. The lights went down, the trailers kicked in, and I…
This is continued from Part I. 3. People in a theater behave like complete and total dicks Three fifteen to eighteen-year-olds whispering for ninety minutes that Wolverine is a fag. Five children in their early twenties talking and texting during “Terminator: Salvation” as if they were in the goddamn food court. A posse of…
Hi, I’m Mike S., and I’m a blockbusterholic. I’ve been a blockbusterholic since I was a much younger man. It didn’t matter what was playing; once the calendar changed and the weather warmed up you knew where to find me: back row of the theater, popcorn in hand, waiting to escape from the…
Aahh, film-the French called it “Radio For The Eyes.” We in America call it “A Diversion From The Fact That Gas Now Costs More Than A Faberge Egg Filled With Movie Popcorn.” And with a diversion this important, venue is a huge consideration. Who among you hasn’t regretted purchasing a ticket for a movie at…
The title of the film “Religulous” is a made-up word, a hybrid of “religion” and “ridiculous.” Essentially, “Religulous” is ridiculous without the “dick” – although with Bill Maher involved, there’s still plenty of dick to go around. The comedian/HBO host/novelist/squire of incredibly hot minority women adds documentarian to his list of titles with…
Saw the new movie “Redbelt,” and it was a snooze. It takes a different approach to the martial arts genre, in that it goes the whole philosophical, there-is-honor-in-what-we-do, competition-is-weakness route. Even as a guy fascinated by the concept of discipline and honor in fighting, I say blah– it’s a movie– let’s see somebody get kicked…
I’ve never seen “The Devil Wears Prada”. My wife enjoyed it, but I figured that my having a penis would be a severe detriment to doing the same. Not to sound like a Neanderthal; hell, I cried like a newborn all four times I saw “Beaches” in the theater. I just know what…
You know what’s difficult? Generating column ideas. You’d think with the vast movie-watching experience I bring to the table I could churn out columns like Keanu Reeves churns out crap. (“Street Kings”? “The Day The Earth Stood Still”? Really, Keanu? That good will from “The Matrix” has officially run out; might want to give Alex…
An angry man types this. Angry for two reasons: one, angry that I paid to see “The Happening”; two, angry because I logged on to this site to see that the lovely and talented Graham Elwood had already taken a run at the film. However, I contend that this film is so awful,…
It was right there all along, a story waiting to be written. Sure, plenty of comics and movies have covered the reluctant superhero, a guy who is more or less forced to use his powers for the greater good, to transcend his normalcy and reach heights he never imagined he was capable of. Everybody from…