I’m a Disney-a-holic, so this is hard for me to admit and even harder to write. I grew up in Florida, so I’ve been immersed in Disney from an early age. I LOVE Disney and everything it embodies: Magic, memories, family, and especially their movies. I own about half of them. I would own all of them, but I’m a mom to two boys and princesses are a hard sell. I usually have to trick them into seeing a princess movie by pitching the super cool prince, the evil nemesis, or the wacky sidekick. That technique is exactly how I got them to see Beauty and the Beast. “Mom, isn’t that a story about a princess?” “Nope. It’s a story about a girl who likes to read and has to join forces with a talking candle to tame a Beast!” “Whoa. OK, Mom…push ‘play’. “
If you’ve ever wondered how to make a big summer film based on a kind of board game you played as a kid, look no further than Battleship, directed by Peter Berg. It’s not necessarily how you make it good, but then, why the Hell would you make this movie anyway?
Dark Shadows is full of wonderful characters imbued with dark, quirky goodness that you feel connected to because of all the care that is taken to ensure the audience relates – oh wait, no,sorry, that’s Edward Scissorhands. Never mind.
So let’s just cut to the chase…The Avengers is totally kick-ass, balls to the wall awesome! Okay, give me a minute to collect myself. Whew! Fine, let’s continue.
Hysteria is a romantic comedy set in 1880s London about the accidental discovery of the first electric vibrator. Based on that premise we’re all pretty much on board, right? Great.
I like Jason Statham, it’s no secret. I’ve championed the Crank movies enough, particularly Crank 2, for their unique style and near comic book bending of reality. Even the Transporter movies have their action genre delights. However, Safe, even with its’ old school action set up and play, doesn’t have the inventiveness or even the chops of director team Neveldine and Taylor to save it.
Chimpanzee is a movie made by a Disney. It’s about chimpanzees. Mostly one but I can’t say that is certain because I can’t tell chimpanzees apart because I am not a chimpanzee. Maybe I would have enjoyed this movie more if I were some sort of monkey, or if I were a human who was all about fruit and nut eating. Maybe it would have been enjoyable if I had entered the theater thinking, “Man, I hope I get to see hairy things eating over and over and over and over.” But I didn’t. So, fuck Chimpanzee.
The Moth Diaries is a whole lot of eerie atmosphere and latent lesbian urges between these girl school mates, and a lot of potentially cool but ultimately unsatisfying events.
Oh, how the horror genre needs a lift right now. We’re in one of those places in the cycle where fresh ideas are a rare commodity. We’ve exhausted the torture porn style of the Saws, Hostels, etc. Now it’s time for something new. And who best to do such a thing? Why, Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, that’s who.
Casa de mi Padre is a mess. I think I love it. The further away I get from the first viewing, the more sure I am. Oh, I will be buying it.