Aahh, film-the French called it “Radio For The Eyes.” We in America call it “A Diversion From The Fact That Gas Now Costs More Than A Faberge Egg Filled With Movie Popcorn.” And with a diversion this important, venue is a huge consideration. Who among you hasn’t regretted purchasing a ticket for a movie at some small, out of the way theater? Then you get your concessions. (by the way, I love the use of the word “concessions” as it implies that you are conceding the fact that there is nowhere else to buy food at this moment, so you’re willing to pay eighty bucks for M&M’s) After you score your overpriced treats you settle in to your way-too-small seat, squint to make out the stained movie screen the size of a stop sign, then strain your ears to decipher the words to the concessions jingle coming out of a speaker that makes AM radio sound high-def. Let’s all go to the lobby, indeed. Movies need to be not just watched, but experienced– and there is no better place in Los Angeles to experience a movie than the Arclight Theater, home of the famous Cinerama Dome. Sure Mann’s Chinese is awesome, but you can only stand in Burt Reynolds’ footprints so many times before you realize he was in “Cop And A Half”, so why should you care how big his feet were? No, give me the Arclight, with it’s assigned seating…yes, that’s right, I said assigned seating. No more showing up at the theater five minutes before showtime, sweating out getting a seat as you wait for the senior citizen ahead of you at the box office to pick out a film when, let’s be honest, they’re only there for the air-conditioning. In fact, if you wrote a film called “Free Air-Conditioning” I guarantee you’d make at least $50 million from the lint-strewn pockets of the elderly alone. The Arclight just feels like Hollywood: it’s got all the things you want in a theater, and many things you don’t but love anyway. Do you need to walk in and see one of the actual suits Robert Downey Jr. wore in “Iron Man”? No, but it’s still cool. Is your experience going to be enhanced by having the usher announce to the entire theater the running time and cast of the film you’re seeing? No, but you’ll appreciate the effort. Is it necessary for your film-going pleasure to stand behind Billy Idol as he buys Milk Duds? No, but there he is, Rebel-Yelling his order at the snack bar clerk whose favorite movie is “The City of Lost Children.” How do I know the clerk’s favorite movie? Well, it’s on his nametag, allowing him to assault you with his taste in movies without boring you to tears with WHY he’s better than you. These are the touches that make the Arclight…well, not the Wrigley Field of theaters; that would mean old and nostalgic. Call it the PNC Park of theaters, without having to sit through the awfulness of the Pirates…although the last two “Pirates of The Caribbean” movies were worse than the last twenty years of Pittsburgh Pirates baseball combined. Christ, I think that chase in the wheel is STILL going on. The one negative I hear from people is that the Arclight, at $14.00 a ticket, is too expensive. Fair enough…but may I take you back to that cramped sweatbox of the first paragraph and remind you how awful it is to sit through a movie in an outhouse? Seriously, is an extra $4.00 a ticket too much to pay for comfort and opulence the very stars you’re watching on screen would be envious of? Plus, the high-ticket price keeps out the riff-raff. If paying a little extra allows me to concentrate on the movie rather than plot the murder of the guy next to me who smuggled in a gyro, I’m in. Seriously, the next guy who answers his phone in a theater may as well just hang up and text the coroner. Who cares about the high-ticket price, think of all the money you’ll save on bail. “Iron Man” is a great movie, and would be anywhere…but “Iron Man” at the Arclight is a great experience. A fancy food-eating, hipster-gawking, giant-bathroomed, celebrity spotting evening that makes $14.00 a ticket seem like a bargain. Oh, did I mention Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. showed up at the Midnight screening of “Iron Man”? I didn’t? Probably should have wedged that in before mentioning the giant bathrooms, huh? Why the hell am I so concerned with the size of the bathrooms? I’m in there for, like, two minutes. Good Lord…anyway, you get the idea. Pay a little extra, drive a little further…do what you can to see a movie the way it’s supposed to be seen. Unless you’ve got a gyro in your pants. If that’s the case, then stick to CityWalk.