There has been a lot of nerd rumblings that this wasn’t going to be good. I did not care. I think there is still some nerd PTSD from the “Star Wars” prequels that had theaters full of tension. Like when I saw “Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” yesterday. There was a fair amount of applause when the Lucasfilms logo came up, which prompted me to yell out, “Remember the prequels!” Maybe I too needed some group therapy. Sudden flashbacks to Jar Jar Binks and three movies I had forgotten. No, please no. Not again. Shhhh. I told myself. Enjoy the free popcorn, acquired by racking up Arclight points. “Arclight. B-52 strike. Charlie don’t never see ’em or hear ’em.” Maybe I was wound too tight for New Orleans. I thought. I loved it. It was all that I remember from how good the other Indy movies were. It had all that I needed. Anyone who thinks that Skull is the worst needs to talk with a kid in a Temple then get back to me. Time heals all wounds is what Sure Shot told me. Big sets. Big Action. Big fun. Everything a summer movie should be. Don’t fall in the trap of, “In my day everything was better.” This is good. Some of the CGI took me out of it a little. There were no computer bugs in the originals– just really scared actors. But I can forgive that because some day we will have to fight the robots for control of the planet. So we need to be prepared. Sorry. I got a little off track. Skull was all the big rowdy fun that I wanted and received. Even some of the crazy ending didn’t bother me because I remember the originals. I remember an Ark opened and a white lazer cloud thing emerged, going through all the Nazi’s souls, turning their eyes to fire. All they had to do was, CLOSE THEIR EYES!? Really that’s all? Ok. Fine by me. Who am I to question the mystical powers of nerd filmmakers? Drink the wrong cup and your face goes to sand. Sure thing. I’ll chose wisely. It drives me a little nuts when people get all bent out of shape over a silly bubble gum movie and its sequel. “Godfather III”: travesty. “Oceans 12” is not. Settle down, nerds. We’re not watching “Phantom Menace”. Just a good addition to a 27 year old franchise. PALM STRIKE!
Graham Elwood
