It’s a movie that has a similar look as the Underworld films and only about as good as the worst of those. That’s not saying a great deal, I’m afraid, yet, I, Frankenstein still isn’t the worst film I’ve seen, or even likely the worst we’ll see this year. Oh, three cheers to the Hollywood crap machine.
First it was a screenplay, then it was a grahic novel, THEN it was given some rewrites and made into…this. It’s a movie that has a similar look as the Underworld films and only about as good as the worst of those. That’s not saying a great deal, I’m afraid, yet, I, Frankenstein still isn’t the worst film I’ve seen, or even likely the worst we’ll see this year. Oh, three cheers to the Hollywood crap machine.
I, Frankenstein opens where the original Frankenstein story ends. And then we fast-forward to present day where a random war between gargoyles and demons is being fought with the fate of all humankind in the balance. That’s pretty obvious, I guess. I mean, a war with the fate of all puppies in the balance would be a bit less – wait, no, now that I think about it, this movie makes puppies seem more important. There would have been more emotional stake in that. Well, nevertheless, Frankenstein’s monster becomes stuck right in the middle of this war and he has to pick sides.
The idea is that, these demons, led by Niberius, played quite evily by the awesome Bill Nighy, want to resurrect all of their fallen angel brethren and basically take over the world. To do that, they need to find a way to reanimate dead bodies so that all the demon souls have bodies to occupy. So, you know, if you find a body where that’s already been done, it would be easier to figure out how to do it. Enter Frankenstein’s monster, played by Aaron Eckhart, who is still too handsome despite the decent scar make-up they give him in this. And good thing they found a dead body with rock hard abs, huh? If the demons can get a hold of him, or Doctor Frankenstein’s lab journal, they can raise all these dead bodies and put demon souls in them. Then it’s a Hell on Earth party, baby.
But trying to protect the Earth from all this is what remains of the gargoyle clans, or whatever. And they are led by the queen gargoyle, Leonore, none other than Miranda Otto. Yes, she was Eowyn in the Lord of the Rings films. This is a step down, to be sure. But she does her best with what she is given, and is sullied only by agreeing to be in this, not by her performance. In fact, Eckhart as the monster, or Adam, as Leonore dubs him, is also pretty good here. From his perspective, you can’t really fault him too terribly. It’s a very different role for him and he holds his own with it, despite a script that doesn’t let the audience care too much for anything going on. The always lovely Yvonne Strahovski plays Terra something, the scientist Niberius saddles with trying to unlock the mysteries of bringing back the dead via electrical energy. She does what she can, you know, with the subtle English accent and what not.
The action is decent, and the effects are adequate, but again, it all amounts to very little. It’s mostly a video game type movie where you just don’t care enough about the end result. A couple decent perfomances don’t save this. It’s too bad, really. There are a few moments where Eckhart is getting a cool bit of dialogue as the tortured Adam, but then it just shifts back into a lifeless actioner. I guess it’s comic book-y in that sense, just not a very good one.
All that being said, however, I bet The Legend of Hercules is worse, though I haven’t seen it (did anyone?) and may not wish to put myself through it. So, in that light, I, Frankenstein is still not the worst film you’ll see this year, even as January comes to a close. But it’s still only a two kittenhand movie. Unless you are a BIG fan of the graphic novel, or must see any film that revolves around the Frankenstein mythos, you can safely avoid this.
~ Neil T. Weakley, your average movie-goer, honestly saying this was better than Nicolas Cage’s Season of the Witch.