Vikings are cool. They kick lots of ass and they wear those awesome metal helmets with the horns on them. I’d say it’s about time we had a good Viking movie, don’t you? I just don’t know if this is the one. This is sort of a Viking movie that drops acid and it kicks in at the third act.
Yeah, that’s right. I’m a self-professed Nerd, Dork, whatever you wish to call it, and I’ve NEVER been to a Star Trek Convention – EVER. Sure, I’ve been to ComiCon once; I got that under my belt, but this is the convention that supposedly has the Nerdiest of all Nerds. The ones that live the show and movies in their everyday lives; the ones that even William Shatner himself told to “get a life!” Yeah, he apologized later, but you get my point.
Hey, I’m a nice guy. Ask anybody, they’ll tell you. No, seriously, I’m the nicest guy I know – to a fault. But I’m still a guy. I like to hunker down with some beer and chips and watch stuff blow up real good. This movie appeals to every single thing that makes a man, nice or not, a man. What about this movie seemed bad? I mean, really, this thing has some of the greatest action stars of the 80’s, 90’s and 2000’s so far.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most entertaining movie of the summer. What? Too strong right out of the gate? Well, you nay-sayers, you negative nancys, you…you, people that like to be all sour-pussy about everything, can just bite me.
I can’t remember the last film I saw that was really good until about the last six minutes. Oh, wait, THIS one. Yes, really. I was hoping for sort of an Exorcist for this generation, what I got was a cliched verse from a Satanic Metal song. But not as rocking. And it’s a real shame this time, because The Last Exorcism had a lot going for it.
Robert Rodriguez’s Machete might be the best thing to happen to Mexicans in film in a long time. Or the worst thing, depending on your sense of humor. It is, however, one of the summer’s most fun movies without a doubt. No, I still liked Piranha 3-D better, but this is still up there. With its’ over the top violence, retro 70’s flavor, and all star cast that plays along; for my pesos, it’s hard to go wrong.
When I see a movie titled “Devil”, you’ve already got my attention. But when I find out the story is written by M. Night Shyamalan, I am wary, as I, or anyone, should be. As you know, we give M. Night a lot of shit around here. And I’ll be honest, after Signs, I had my doubts. And hey, I even liked Unbreakable, where many others did not. And it it weren’t for the glaring plot hole in Signs, I might have stayed on board with that one.
It’s hard to imagine someone being able to make a movie that features only one character onscreen for the whole 90 plus minutes and actually being able to make it work, let alone just watchable. Oh, sure, I could watch Natalie Portman do her nails for 90 minutes, or Megan Fox sunbathe. Hell, I even love the movie Babe. 90 minutes of a talkin’ pig? I’m in. But a movie about a guy buried alive in a coffin? Really?
Oh, Wes Craven, where is your Nightmare On Elm Street, your Scream, your Serpent and the Rainbow? They are gems of the past. It would seem all we’re left with in the present is My Money -uh, Soul, To Take. Oh, sure, it looks good, and there’s some good mis-direction, but where is the horror?
What is there to really say here? It’s not like you don’t know what the Hell this film is about. Johnny Knoxville and his band of knuckleheads do more horrifyingly disturbing things to each other for the amusement (and horror) of others. Any questions? I didn’t think so.