The Love Guru Review

Two letters: P and U. Oof. Not a good date movie. Because it makes you hate love. And Mike Myers. And India. And Canada, just for good measure. Look, I’m not going to lie to you. I heard it was bad. But, it’s Mike Myers, right? I mean, how bad can he be? He’s Shrek,…

Mamma Mia! Review

Dear Meryl Streep, Are you okay? Do you need money? Did someone kidnap you and make you do this movie? Blink twice if you need help. I will send someone to get you. I appreciate that you’re breaking out of your Oscary movies. You were amazing in “Devil Wears Prada” and really raised the bar…

Rachel Getting Married Review

More like “Kymmie Getting High.” What? Surely you’ve heard by now that the movie is about Anne Hathaway as drug addict Kym, on leave from rehab to attend her sister’s wedding. That’s sweet, right? Well, it’s very quickly shown that Kym’s a bit of a pariah. Then it’s very quickly shown why: she’s a total…

Twilight Review

It’s not often I wish I were 15 again. But this movie, ah, this movie—this one’s for the Teen Horny Nerd Girls. I heard them in the lobby, “Oh my god! I love your shirt!” One shrieked and giggled at a stranger. It was just a “Twilight” t-shirt. That’s what this movie is doing to…

Amelia Review

  “Amelia” is the story of Amelia Earhart portrayed by Hilary Swank, who you may know at the… OMG, I’m bored just thinking about it. This is the most boring biopic of any I’ve seen.  From the first line I was bored.  And there’s no reason to be bored.  It’s Amelia Earhart, known for having…

New Moon Review

Ugh!   I got the first Twilight. I liked it. I’m not in the desired demographic, but I get it. It’s a sexy teen vampire romance. Who wouldn’t like that? Hot vampire Edward Cullen is a bad boy. He thirsts for his girlfriend’s blood. That’s the ultimate bad boy.   But this movie, the second…

Valentine’s Day Review

  Relax.  Valentine’s Day is not just another hackneyed rom-com.  It’s, well, EVERY hackneyed rom-com.  It’s 8,000 different stories, all centered around the Big Day and set in Los Angeles.  It’s the Crash of romantic comedy.  But, as I recall, Crash had some genuine funny moments.  Valentine’s Day is full of, “OMG, I can’t believe…